The bonds of intimacy are often what transform a relationship from good to exceptional.
That magical quality, that sizzle, that irresistible allure that keeps your eyes locked on your partner, not just across a crowded room, but across the breakfast table too.
The secret ingredient?
Keeping things fresh and exciting, especially in the bedroom.
Whether you're in the honeymoon phase or have been together for years, there's always something new, exciting, and tantalisingly fun to try to transform good sex into great sex.
The beautiful thing about intimacy is that it can always grow, always evolve, always surprise you. It's an endless exploration of desires, feelings and sensations, a labyrinth where every turn could lead to a thrilling new discovery. So, why not plunge into that exploration with a sense of curiosity, openness, and a playful dash of adventurous spirit?
Let's embark on an exciting journey, exploring 20 new things to try in the bedroom. Some may make you giggle, some may seem daring and others may resonate deeply with hidden fantasies. Remember, the objective is to enhance intimacy, heighten connection and, above all, have fun.
1. Tantalising Fantasies
In the endless journey towards cultivating a vibrant, satisfying love life, exploring sexual fantasies is an exciting chapter filled with intrigue and revelation. Fantasies come in all shapes and sizes, as diverse and varied as people themselves. While some people fantasise about simple pleasures, others may have more intricate scenarios dancing in their minds.
Here are some of the most common sexual fantasies:
-
Group Sex
This fantasy could involve threesomes, orgies, or other group sex situations. -
Dominance and Submission
This involves power play, where one partner is dominant and the other submits. This could include elements of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM). -
Novelty and Variety
This type of fantasy could mean experimenting with different positions and locations, or even introducing additional partners. -
Voyeurism
This is a fantasy about watching others in sexual situations. -
Exhibitionism
The counterpart to voyeurism, this fantasy involves the thrill of being watched by others. -
Role-Playing
Role-play means playing out specific scenarios or stepping into different characters. -
Emotional Fulfilment
These types of fantasies often involve romance or passion, focusing on emotional fulfilment as much as physical pleasure. -
Stranger or Anonymous Sex
This involves having sex with someone you've just met or having sex with a partner while one or both of you are pretending to be strangers. -
Partner Swapping or Swinging
Swapping and swinging involve exchanging partners with another couple and having sex with someone else's partner while they do the same. -
Public Sex
This involves having sex in a public place and potentially getting caught in the act.
Each of these fantasies can open up new dimensions in your relationship and can be explored to various extents depending on comfort levels and mutual consent. Communication, boundaries and respect are paramount when discussing and acting out fantasies.
2. Play with Sex Toys
Introducing toys into the bedroom is like inviting a fun-loving, thrill-seeking friend to your intimate party. A new sex toy can elevate the pleasure quotient, add an element of surprise and even help you discover new realms of sensation you might not have explored before. From vibrators and dildos to love rings and BDSM equipment, there's a whole smorgasbord of devices designed for delight, regardless of your experience level or preferences.
Here are some of the most common sex toys you might consider exploring:
- Vibrators These come in a variety of sizes and designs, from small bullet vibrators to larger, more powerful devices. They can be used for external stimulation or internal exploration.
- Dildos Available in many sizes, shapes, and materials, dildos can be used for vaginal or anal play.
- Love Rings Also known as cock rings, these devices can be used to enhance erection strength and duration, often providing pleasure to both partners.
- Anal Toys From beads to plugs, anal toys can provide unique sensations and can be enjoyed by individuals of any gender.
- Nipple Clamps For those who enjoy nipple stimulation, this is the best sex toy to add a new level of excitement in your sex life.
- BDSM Equipment This category includes a range of products from blindfolds and handcuffs to floggers and paddles, allowing couples to explore elements of dominance and submission.
If you're new to the world of adult toys, the variety may seem daunting. Venturing out to your local sex shop or online store to find the right sex toy is part of the exciting journey. It's best to start slow, introducing one toy at a time and always keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Discuss what you'd like to try, set your boundaries and, most importantly, ensure that you're both comfortable with the addition.
3. Unexplored Sex Positions
Venturing beyond the realm of familiar territory in partner sex, especially when it comes to positions, can be an exhilarating journey of mutual discovery. Trying new positions isn't just about seeking variety; it's about exploring the depth and breadth of your intimacy, your physical connection and your shared pleasure. New positions can offer different perspectives, stimulate unique sensations and even deepen emotional intimacy as you navigate uncharted waters together.
Here are some less common but exciting sex positions you might want to add into your sexual adventures:
- The Lotus: In this position, one partner sits cross-legged while the other sits on their lap, facing them. This allows for deep penetrative sex, with plenty of eye contact and opportunity for kissing.
- The Pretzel Dip: This is a cross between spooning and the missionary position. One partner lies on their back with one leg bent, while the other kneels, straddling the bent leg and curling under the straight one.
- The Seated Wheelbarrow: In this position, one partner sits on the edge of a bed or chair, while the other, facing away from them, rests their hands on the floor.
- The Om: This position is a twist on the standard man-on-top, but with the receiving partner's legs over their shoulders. This allows for deep vaginal sex and can provide intense pleasure.
- The Sphinx: Similar to the traditional doggy-style position, but with the receiving partner resting on their forearms, like the mythical Sphinx.
- The Passenger's Seat Recline for car sex: Recline the passenger seat fully and let one partner lie on their back, legs over the seat's edge. The other partner kneels on the car floor, facing the reclined partner, allowing for an intimate, face-to-face connection.
- The Ballet Dancer: If you like sex standing, this is perfect for you: one partner lifts one leg, while the other supports it and enters from the front.
- The Elevated Missionary: With the receiving partner on their back, place a sex pillow under their hips to elevate the pelvis. This position allows for deeper penetration and increased stimulation, giving a new spin on the classic missionary.
Not every position works for every couple, and that's completely okay. It's all about exploring and finding what works best for your sex life. Ensure you're physically comfortable, and don't push yourself beyond your limits. The goal is shared pleasure and breaking the sexual routine.
4. Sensual Massage
High on everyone's sexy bucket list, a sensual massage can be an exciting experience for couples to explore together. It's not just about relieving physical tension; it's about fostering a deeper, more emotional connection, and expressing love and affection through touch.
A sensual massage can bring couples closer, help them understand each other's bodies better and promote overall intimacy.
Here are some techniques you can explore during a sensual massage:
- Effleurage This is a French word that means 'to skim' or 'to touch lightly on'. Effleurage involves long, slow, gliding strokes, generally used at the start and end of a massage to warm up and soothe the muscles.
- Petrissage This technique is about kneading the muscles, much like kneading dough. This helps relieve tension and promote relaxation.
- Friction This involves using your fingers or palms to create heat through fast rubbing or deep pressure. This is great for targeting specific tight spots.
- Vibration or Shaking Gentle shaking or 'vibrating' of certain body parts (like the arms or legs) can be very relaxing.
- Fan Stroke A favourite in sensual massage, this technique means spreading the fingers wide and slowly moving them up the body like a fan.
- Feather Stroke These strokes involve very lightly running your fingers across your partner's body, like a feather lightly touching the skin.
A sensual massage requires patience, presence and genuine care. It’s not about rushing to the climax, but about savouring each moment, each touch and each reaction.
5. Anal Sex Play
Anal sex can be a thrilling addition to your sexual bucket list, providing new sensations and experiences for both partners. However, it requires preparation, patience, communication and understanding to ensure it's a pleasurable experience for all involved.
Before engaging in anal sex, it's important to educate yourself and your partner about the process. The anus is not self-lubricating, and its tissue is more delicate than that of the vagina, so appropriate measures should be taken to ensure safety and comfort.
Preparation
The first step in preparing for anal sex is cleanliness. Some people prefer to use an enema before anal play, but a simple shower can suffice in most cases. It's also a good idea to trim your fingernails to prevent any accidental scratches.
The next step is relaxation. The muscles in and around the anus need to be relaxed to accommodate penetration. This can be facilitated through foreplay, massage or even using relaxation techniques like deep breathing.
Starting Anal Games
Start small. This might mean starting with gentle touch or massage around the anal area, or using a small toy or a finger. This can help you get used to the sensation and allow the muscles to relax.
The use of lube is crucial in anal play. As mentioned earlier, the anus does not self-lubricate, so a generous amount of your favourite lube is necessary to prevent discomfort or injury.
When you're ready for penetration, communication is key. The receiving partner should always be in control of the depth and speed of penetration. Start slowly, and remember that it's okay to stop at any point if something doesn't feel right.
Lastly, always use a condom during anal sex acts. This can help prevent the spread of STIs and ensure a cleaner experience.
6. Oral Sex
Oral sex is one of the sexy experiences intimate couples love. Oral pleasure can help couples to build trust, enhance connection and reach new heights of pleasure. Moreover, it enables women to achieve the 'big O' moment, as clitoral stimulation is crucial: approximately 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to reach climax.
Here's a detailed guide on preparation, initiation, and recommended positions for both women and men.
Oral Treats For Women
Oral pleasure for women, often referred to as cunnilingus, involves the stimulation of the vulva and clitoris with the mouth, lips and tongue.
Preparation
Cleanliness is important for comfort and confidence. A gentle bath or shower beforehand can be helpful. Some women might prefer to trim or shave their pubic hair, but it's entirely up to individual preference.
Starting
Start slow, with gentle kisses around the inner thighs and the vulva. Gradually move to more direct clitoral stimulation. Pay attention to her reactions; what increases her pleasure may change as arousal builds.
Best Positions
The classic position is the woman lying on her back with her partner between her legs, but there are several tantalising options to try:
- The '69' position
- The woman on top (giving her control of the pressure and movement)
- Using pillows to elevate her hips
Oral Treats For Men
Oral sex for men, typically known as fellatio, involves the stimulation of the penis and testicles with the mouth, lips and tongue.
Preparation
As with women, cleanliness is crucial. A shower or bath before getting started is a good idea. For men with foreskin, it's essential to pull back the foreskin and clean underneath.
Starting
Start with gentle kisses and licks around the thighs and groin before moving to the penis. Use a mix of tongue and hand action, adjusting the speed, pressure and technique according to his reactions.
Best Positions
The most common position is the man lying on his back while his partner performs fellatio, but again, there are multiple exciting options:
- The '69' position that lots of couples have on their sex bucket list
- The man standing while the partner kneels or sits in front of them (providing a different angle and visual stimulus)
- The partner on their back with the man kneeling over them
7. Tantric Joy
Derived from ancient Hindu and Buddhist traditions, tantric sex is a practice that seeks to connect sex and spirituality, elevating the act of lovemaking beyond the physical to a truly intimate and profound shared experience. It's not just about reaching orgasm but about creating and basking in a deep, energetic connection between partners.
The essence of tantra is not the chasing of a climax, but the journey towards it. It encourages those involved to be fully present, engage in meaningful and profound intimacy and learn to extend and amplify sexual pleasure. By focusing on the connection and the shared experience, rather than the end goal, couples can create a deeper bond and a more satisfying sexual experience.
Here are a few practical tantric techniques couples can incorporate in their sex lives:
1. Deep Breathing
The practice of tantra begins with syncing your breathing. Sit facing each other, gaze into each other's eyes and start to match your breath. This simple exercise can create a powerful connection and helps you focus on the present moment.
2. Yab-Yum Position
This is a classic tantric position where one partner (typically the man) sits cross-legged, and the other partner (usually the woman) sits on their lap, wrapping their legs around. This allows for deep eye contact and alignment of the chakras (energy centres).
3. Slow Down
Tantra is all about taking it slow and savouring every sensation. Prolong foreplay, explore each other's bodies and delay penetration to build a higher level of intimacy.
4. Energy Visualisation
In tantric practices, partners often visualise the energy moving between their bodies. During lovemaking, visualise a flow of energy circulating between you and your partner, creating a loop that connects you on a deeper level.
5. Full-Body Massage
Before engaging in sexual activity, give your partner a full-body massage. Use oils and different massage techniques to relax your partner and heighten their senses. This is not just about arousal, but about making your partner feel loved and appreciated.
6. Mindful Touch
Be intentional and fully present in your touch. Explore your partner's body, not just their erogenous zones. The goal is to make your partner feel cherished and connected.
Tantric lovemaking is about transcending the physical act of sex and entering a realm where intimacy, connection and sensations reign supreme. It's about being present, being mindful and viewing sex as a sacred act of love and connection. Whether you follow all the practices or just a few, incorporating elements of tantra into your lovemaking can help deepen your bond and enhance your sexual pleasure.
8. Masturbation: A Fun Game for Two
Who says that self-love is a solo act? Masturbating in front of your partner can turn a personal pastime into an exciting couple's play, complete with steamy visual treats, deeper connection and a whole new level of intimacy.
Let's Get the Party Started!
There's no ‘right way’ to do it — just follow what feels good, natural and exciting for you. Use the techniques that you know work for you, but don't be afraid to spice things up a bit, perhaps with a new toy or lubricant. Remember, this is a show for your partner — you're the director, the lead actor and the critic, all in one.
On Mutual Ground
And what about taking it a step further with mutual masturbation? Think of it as a two-person dance, where you match your partner's rhythm, learn their moves and eventually sync in harmony. It's all about discovery — finding what brings the other pleasure and learning to enjoy the process as much as the finale.
Mutual masturbation allows for a unique kind of intimacy. You get to witness your partner at their most vulnerable, while also letting them see you in the same light. It can be a profound bonding experience — and let's not forget, incredibly hot.
Here are some playful suggestions:
- Mirror Mirror Try mirroring each other's movements. If your partner touches a certain part of their body, do the same to yours. It's a fun and sexy game of Simon Says.
- Teach and Learn Show your partner how you like to be touched and ask them to do the same. It's a crash course in Pleasure 101, and everyone gets an A+.
- Spice it Up Throw some toys into the mix. From vibrators to strokers, there's a world of devices ready to boost your pleasure.
Masturbating in front of your partner, or engaging in mutual masturbation, can take your intimacy to a new level. It's an opportunity for exploration, education and, most importantly, enjoyment.
9. Food to Enhance Your Desire
Bringing food into your bedroom antics can turn an ordinary romp into a deliciously naughty adventure. Here's how to add a sprinkle of culinary delight to your sexy time.
First rule of the game: keep it light and tasty! You don't want anything too messy that might lead to an unscheduled cleaning break. Stick to lickable, tantalising treats that make your partner's body an irresistible dessert platter.
Here are some tasty suggestions:
Sweet Tooth
Consider classics like whipped cream or chocolate sauce. These sweet delights are perfect for drawing designs on your partner's body, turning them into a living canvas that's as tasty as it is enticing. But remember, too much sugar can lead to a sticky situation. Use sparingly, and enjoy the taste of your partner underneath.
Fruity Fun
How about some succulent strawberries or juicy grapes? They can be playfully eaten off your partner or used to tease their senses. Bonus points for combining with the aforementioned whipped cream!
Ice, Ice, Baby
Ice cubes might not be food per se, but they're a fun, shivery addition. Run them along your partner's body for a chilly surprise that can contrast delightfully with other, warmer activities.
Ready to turn up the heat? You're in for a delicious ride!
Related: 8 Aphrodisiac Foods For Your Libido
10. Lessons in Love
Turn down the lights, power up your laptop and prepare to take notes, because school is back in session! And we're not talking about the boring, textbook kind of learning. This time, the syllabus is all about sensuality, arousal, and passion. Yes, we're talking about sex education — but not as you knew it back in high school.
Investing in sex education as a couple can be a fun, exciting and highly beneficial way to add some flavour to your love life. Whether it's taking that online course on tantric adventure, reading that book about sexual psychology or signing up for a workshop on BDSM, expanding your erotic intelligence can open new avenues of pleasure and intimacy in your relationship.
With sex education, you'll never run out of ideas to try. Plus, homework suddenly becomes a whole lot more fun.
11. Dirty Talk
Ever thought about adding a little verbal seasoning to your sensual moments? Welcome to the world of dirty talk, a spicy game that can turbocharge your romantic escapades and bring you closer to your partner.
Contrary to some beliefs, dirty talk isn’t about using graphic language or mimicking adult movies. It's about expressing your desires, complimenting your partner, and adding an extra layer of intimacy to your exchanges. It's a way to let your partner know that you're present, engaged and totally turned on.
Here are some sizzling phrases to heat things up:
The Compliment Route
‘You feel so incredible’, or ‘I love how you taste’. A bit of flattery goes a long way in setting the mood.
The Direct Desire
‘I want you so badly right now’, or ‘I can't wait to feel you inside me’. Show your raw need and watch the temperature rise.
The Tantalising Tease
‘Wait until you see what I have planned for you’, or ‘You have no idea how much I'm going to make you beg’. Building anticipation is a surefire way to keep things spicy.
The goal of dirty talk is to increase connection and pleasure. Find your unique language of lust, and let the word play begin!
12. The Sweet Afterplay
After the fireworks, heart-pounding rhythms, and passionate crescendo comes the encore: afterplay. This gentle, nurturing time can be the cherry on top of your sensual sundae, a perfect opportunity to foster intimacy and reaffirm your emotional connection.
Picture this: You've explored new territories of pleasure together, and now it's time to bask in the afterglow, care for each other and savour the intimate bond you've just reinforced.
Here are a few delightfully sexy ways to practise afterplay:
The Snuggle Strategy
There's nothing quite like the comfort of your partner's arms. Bask in the warmth of cuddles, and let the connection deepen.
Tender Talk
Share your feelings about your escapade. Compliment each other, express love and gratitude. It’s a great time for pillow talk that nurtures the heart.
Hydration Station
Bring a glass of water or your partner’s favourite drink to replenish fluids. It's a small act of care that speaks volumes about your consideration.
Soothing Strokes
A gentle massage can help relax tired muscles and promote a sense of calm. Plus, who can resist the allure of a loving touch?
Sexperts say that the best predictor of sex and relationship satisfaction is whether they cuddled after sex.
So, cuddle up, exchange sweet nothings and let the afterglow of good sex shine even brighter!
Unexplored Sexy Bucket List
Are you ready to push the envelope a bit further? Fantastic! There's a whole world of sensual adventure waiting to be explored. Let's embark on an erotic journey where creativity and courage will be your compass.
13. Strip Poker: The Game of Seductive Chance
Dive into the exhilarating world of Strip Poker. The game cleverly merges the thrill of chance with the allure of undressing, creating an atmosphere charged with anticipation and desire. As each round passes, the stakes get higher and the clothes fewer.
14. Sex Tape: Lights, Camera, Passion!
Consider crafting a sexy memento by making a sexy video or photos. This daring venture can add a thrilling new dimension to your intimate moments.
15. Phone Sex: Dial Up the Desire
When distance separates you, let your voices bridge the gap. Engaging in playful voice or video sex can keep the fires of passion burning, stirring up anticipation for your next encounter.
16. Sex Games: Roll for Rapture
Infuse your intimate life with playful spirit using sex games, such as sex dice. Each roll could reveal a new action or challenge, creating a fun-filled pathway to pleasure.
17. Shower Sex: Steam up the Tiles
Change your scenery and explore the intimate pleasure of shower sex. The sensation of warm water coupled with your partner's touch creates a truly unique sensual experience.
18. Hotel Escapades: A Getaway for Two
Booking a night in a hotel can bring refreshing novelty to your sex life. The escape from the familiar can liberate your passions, transforming an ordinary night into a mini vacation.
19. TV Scene Re-enactment: Your Bedroom is the Set
Why not step into the shoes of your favourite TV characters for a night? Re-enacting your top TV sex scene allows you to take on new roles, adding an exhilarating layer to your intimate encounters.
20. Blindfolded Exploration: Sensing the Unseen
Venture into the world of sensory deprivation with blindfolded sex. Removing sight heightens your other senses, making each whisper and caress even more thrilling.
These captivating ideas are but a glimpse of the endless possibilities that exist for spicing up your sex life. So, buckle up and get ready for an unforgettable ride of intimate exploration!
A Word from For Play
Are you ready to turn the page to a new, thrilling chapter of your sex life? This is your opportunity to take a playful leap into a world of sexual exploration and create your very own sex bucket list.
From embarking on fantasy voyages and playing erotic games to exploring different terrains of pleasure like tantric techniques and sex toys, there’s something for everyone.