Sexperts advise that the best way to have a great sex life is to make time for intimacy and schedule hot dates with your partner.
Our lives always seem to be getting busier, and we all try to prioritise our health, family, work, hobbies, fitness, friends and rest. But how about intimacy?
When scheduled sex is in the diary, this gives you a sumptuous treat to think about and helps you build the anticipation, and what is anticipation if not foreplay? In fact, planned sex is the ultimate form of foreplay, as it gives you the chance to build sexual tension, engage in flirtatious sexting, seduce your partner and bring more thrill throughout the day, knowing that sex is on the table later.
Sex on Your To-Do-List
Some people find planned sex unromantic, but let’s look at the facts. Do you still enjoy planned holidays? Scheduling trips creates exciting and expectant thoughts about the adventure, relaxation and joy that you will experience.
Interestingly, the same goes for intimacy. You and your partner will be filled with anticipation, suspense, sexual tension, and feelings of being wanted, loved and loving long before your erotic encounter even begins.
A recent study endorses planned sex even more: despite the belief that spontaneous sex is more fun, the study participants found planned sex to be just as satisfying as spontaneous sex.
The Benefits of Planned Sex
Enhancing Your Intimacy
Intimacy extends beyond the physical connection, encompassing emotional closeness, trust and safety. Scheduling intimate moments allows you to have quality time with your partner and nurture your romantic and emotional connection, the same as you did at the beginning of your relationship.
Improving Relationship Happiness
Relationship satisfaction is directly correlated with intimacy and the quality time you and your partner spend together. Sex is more important to us as humans than we often give it credit for. In fact, research has found that people rate a happy sex life as more important than having an adequate income or even shared interests with their partner.
Plus, studies have shown that when couples have sex, they are more likely to report better mood and higher relationship satisfaction afterwards.
Building up Anticipation
Just as you are enthusiastic about a planned trip, you will be dying from suspense and excitement for your upcoming sexual date with your partner.
Anticipation is what elevates sex from mundane to magnificent.
If you add some sizzling hot kissing, sexting and sexy thoughts before your date, you can build the sexual tension even more.
Bringing Novelty Into the Bedroom
In long-term relationships, sexual routines can become predictable, leading to reduced satisfaction and desire. Planned sex brings more awareness to your sex life and provides a safe space to explore your ever-evolving sexual preferences and fantasies.
Inviting More Spontaneous Sex
It sounds counterintuitive, but it is true. The more pleasurable sex you have, the more you want. By engaging in planned sex, you will start to see more sparks of spontaneous “spur-of-the-moment” passion in your day to day life.
How to schedule sex
1. Discuss Scheduling Intimacy
This is a new concept that requires both an explanation and a bit of courage to try it. You can frame it as a sex date, erotic adventure or intimate time to make scheduling intimacy a more desirable sexual avenue for your partner to explore with you.
One couple swore that they owe their passionate sex life to “F*cking dates” and “F*cking holidays”.
If your partner likes variety and change, they might feel excited about trying to plan your sex. Alternatively, you could frame it as a 30-day experiment that you would like to undertake. You know your partner the best: present this idea to them in a way that will get you a YES.
2. Schedule Your Erotic Date
Start by sending the first calendar invite to your partner and making all the necessary arrangements, like child care.
3. Just Show up to Your Date
No need to wait for the mood or your most energetic self. Just show up to your date, and allow your desire to develop and take hold.
4. Start Your Own Intimacy Ritual
If you want to enhance your sensual rendezvous, come up with your own intimacy ritual that allows you and your partner to shift the mood from work or parent mode to erotic self. This could involve:
- sensual showering together or separately,
- changing into different clothes, sexy underwear included,
- listening to erotic music - try one of our Spotify playlists,
- setting the ambiance with soft lighting, candles or an arousing scent.
For Play Couples Chocolates could be part of your ritual, boosting libido and sparking a feeling of arousal in your body
Your intimacy ritual will allow you to reconnect with your sexual self and become more present in your body.
5. Agree on the Intimate Scenario
Although the intimate session is scheduled, the format of each erotic date can have its own unique flow and narrative.
Physical intimacy is about connection, exploration and pleasure over simply reaching orgasm.
No pressure, expectations or chasing the big “O”. Intimacy and sex more broadly, outside of just the physical dimension, can be anything that connects you with your partner:
- Kissing and making out
- Hugging and sensual touching
- Massage
- Oral sex
- Hand stimulation
- Talking about your desires and fantasies
- Watching porn together
- Giving and receiving pleasure in any way, shape or form that you want to.
6. Make Time for Aftercare
Take time for aftercare - connect after sex by cuddling, discussing what you enjoyed or taking a shower together.
After sex, you are open and connected - this is the best time to discuss what kind of sex life you would like to have.
- What priority level should sex have in our life together?
- What is your desired and realistic sex frequency?
- What does great sex look like for you?
- What do you want to explore?
- What is physical intimacy for you?
A word from For Play
Planned sex helps you create anticipation, and what is anticipation if not foreplay? A planned erotic rendezvous is the ultimate form of foreplay: flirtatious sexting, passionate kissing and the thrilling anticipation of pleasure make for a sumptuous sexual experience.
Planned sex is a modern “I love you”.
Scheduling physical intimacy is enjoyable in its own right, keeps this part of your relationship high on the priority list and provides the perfect environment for responsive desire. Planned sex is a modern “I love you” sign that your partner sends to you, showing all their passion and affection.
