Sexting is an art form of the 21st century, where your playfulness and creativity can help connect you with your partner when you are apart.
Welcome to the enchanting realm of sexting, where the written word becomes a powerful tool for stoking desire and fostering intimate connections. Delve into a world where emojis become subtle gestures, wordplay creates delightful tension, and innuendos act as whispers in the ear.
What is Sexting?
So before we dive into the tantalising realm of sexting tips, let’s tackle some definitions. Sexting involves two people consensually sharing sexual messaging with each other through digital platforms. Sexting comes in many forms, such as sending written messages, images, memes, gifs, emojis, voice messages, porn clips, or erotica to your partner through a text, email, instant message, or DM.Like other forms of phone sex, sexting is an intimate way to connect with your partner from miles away, build sexual tension in between rendezvouses, or even explore fantasies that you may not be comfortable sharing in person.
Why Should You Explore Sexting?
From keeping the passion burning to building trust, sexting could be your key to a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner. Let's take a deep dive into the benefits of sexting. No blushing allowed, this is a grown-up chat!
Build Intimacy
Sexting is a spicy way to connect with your partner. Knowing that your partner finds you irresistible can strengthen your intimacy and excitement. Sharing something so personal also creates a bond of trust and a connection that's more intimate than any romantic dinner date. It shows that you trust your partner with your desires, your vulnerabilities, and yes, your flattering nudes.
Enhance Communication
Sexting encourages open communication about your desires. It might feel easier to type out your fantasies than to speak them aloud, but that's not necessarily a bad thing! It's about getting comfortable with your own desires and finding a playful way to share them. In fact, a naughty text could be the perfect ice-breaker to open up more serious intimate conversations. So, go on, hit that send button!
Boost Desire
Sexting can fan the flames of desire in a relationship, especially long-distance ones where physical intimacy might be off the menu. Just because there's a country (or heck, an ocean!) between you, doesn't mean the heat needs to cool. A suggestive message or saucy picture can remind your partner just what they're missing, keeping that desire very much alive.
Sexting can help you build desire, anticipation and heat up your partner.
Explore New Ideas
Sexting can be educational and allow you to explore your and your partner's intimacy, pleasure, turn-ons and fantasies in a safe way.
By reducing the vulnerability of sharing fantasies face-to-face, facilitating open and frank discussions about your most intimate curiosities, sexting serves as a unique gateway to explore and express your hidden desires.
When used thoughtfully, sexting also provides valuable insight into your partner's wants and needs. It's like a secret code, enabling you to unlock the thrilling depths of what gets your hearts racing.
Embrace your own sexuality
Although human sexuality is complicated, the fact remains that we’re sexual beings. But where things can get difficult for people is if they’ve yet to embrace that sexuality. Everyone hits their sexual bloom at different times; if we take a moment to look inside ourselves, dig around, and see what’s there, we’re likely to be surprised—in a good way. Sexting can help unlock the door to that moment.
1. Use Sexting as Digital Foreplay
Foreplay starts long before you reach the bedroom. Sexting is a great way to let your partner know that you're thinking of them (which builds emotional intimacy) and that you desire them (which enhances physical intimacy).
Sexting can build up the anticipation in any sexual encounter and make the grand finale even more special.
2. Ask for Consent from Your Sexting Partner
Just like any other kind of sexual activity, always ask for consent first. It is also recommended to check whether the timing and place are right. It could be awkward if they're in a meeting (especially if they're sharing their screen and forgot to turn notifications off!), or maybe if they've got kids around.
Phrases to use to start sexting and ask for consent:
— I just took a photo of myself post-shower, and I would love to send it to you...Do you want to see it?
— I can't stop thinking about last night, and I have an idea for what I want to do to you next time. Can I tell you what I'm thinking?
— Had you on my mind and wanted to share some NSFW thoughts. Are you into that right now?
3. Discuss Your Boundaries
Sexting can be a thrilling way to connect, but it requires clearly defined boundaries. You and your partner must feel comfortable and respected throughout the exchange. Establish what kinds of messages, photos, or videos are off-limits, ensuring everyone's on the same page before getting to the dirty talk. Will you delete the messages immediately after the conversation, or is it okay to keep them on your phone? Is there anything you really do (or don’t) want to sext about? Are you comfortable receiving written texts? What about nude photos? Are voice memos on the table?
Establish what you and your partner are and aren’t looking for in the sexy exchange to keep everything playful and safe. And most importantly, do not share with others anything your partner sends you. It is private and intimate, a treasured part of your story, and should be treated this way.
Sexts to check the boundaries:
— Just checking in: Is it okay if we continue to share these types of messages? It's fine if you want to slow down.
— Remember, anything we share stays between us. And if you ever feel uncomfortable or want me to delete anything, just let me know.
— I love sexting with you, but can we agree to only send these messages after work hours? I wouldn't want us to be distracted during the day.
— I enjoy our sexy chats, but I'm not comfortable with sharing explicit photos yet. Can we stick to texts for now?
4. Start Your Sexting Session Slowly
It can feel uncomfortable to jump into a steamy conversation via text, especially if you’ve never done it before. Don't just jump into the dirty talking all at once — start slowly and build up the open-mindedness of your messages. Take inspiration from your sexual memories, hot desires and tantalising fantasies.
Sexts to start the conversation:
— I just want to kiss you slowly up your neck until I get to your lips.
— I can’t think of anything but kissing you.
— Last night was amazing. You know exactly how to touch me.
5. Protect Your Privacy
If you're sending explicit images or videos, make sure your sexting partner is truly someone you can trust. To start with, send photos and videos without disclosing your face and identity, and only send full body photos and videos when you build enough trust.
6. Learn Their Sext Language
Does your partner like it when you call them "baby girl"? Or do they prefer that you call them a slut? What word for their genitals makes them feel the sexiest? These are all things to think about before sexting someone new, and it's never a bad idea to revisit this with your current partner. Develop your own dirty talk to create a sexual bond.
Sexting ideas to learn about their language:
— I kinda wanna call you Daddy.
— Was I a good girl? Tell me.
— What words turn you on the most?
— You keep using that word… I think it’s starting to become my favourite, too.
— How do you want me to talk to you tonight?
7. Use Your Voice
Voice notes don’t exist only to get your point across to someone quickly in a text; they also come in handy when you want to use your voice to entice your partner and tap into your lover's audial desire.
Try lowering your voice and speaking softly while telling your partner what you want to do to them or what you want them to do to you. Build anticipation by sending one sentence at a time over the course of a day.
8. Shower Them with Compliments
Sexting can make people feel nervous or vulnerable, especially if there are pictures involved, so be sure to share a lot of positive reinforcement, compliments and appreciation to make your partner feel good about themselves.
Sexting phrases to share your appreciation:
— You are so sexy, it's unbelievable.
— I was just thinking about how hot your body looked last night when you were on top of me.
— I loved the way you slowly undressed me last night.
— You have the perfect body.
— I feel like you always know exactly how to turn me on.
9. Fuse a Photo with a Spicy Sext
Sexting, while often thought of as just text, can indeed include the exciting layer of photos and videos to enhance the erotic dialogue. Share a close-up of your lips or eyes, a hint of bare skin, a sexy outfit or your solo sex to turn their visual senses on.
Sext these examples to start the flirting:
— Do you want to see a photo of what I’m wearing right now?
— I’m sending you a photo of my hand down my undies. I wish they were your hands instead.
10. Your Greatest Hits
Recall all the hot sexual adventures you had before to enhance the romantic connection in your sext life. Sexting can invoke shared memories of steamy encounters, making for an enticing journey down memory lane.
Sexting examples:
— Remember that time in the elevator when I went down on you a few months ago.
— I keep thinking about the last time we had sex. It's making me want to play with myself...are you free?
— Remember when we did 69 for the entire evening? That was so hot.
11. Tell them how much you miss them
Sexting serves as an intimate time machine, allowing you to revisit those thrilling moments and experiences, even if you're miles apart or just waiting for your next rendezvous. Use your sexts and messages to let your partner know how deeply you’re thinking about the next time you can be intimate together.
Sext the following to make your partner feel loved:
— I miss having you inside of me.
— I can't get you out of my head.
— I can't believe it's been two weeks since I've had your perfect body in my arms.
— I'm counting down the hours until you're inside of me.
— You're on my mind today.
12. Share Your Burning Desire
Sexting is like a secret garden, a private space where your words bloom into expressions of desire. So, go ahead, let your sexts reflect the intensity of your passion. Whisper, shout, murmur your desire into the phone. And as your partner reads your words, they’ll feel the heat radiating from the screen, your longing reaching out to them
Sexting examples for expressing desire:
— I want you so bad.
— I don't know how long I can wait until the next time you kiss my nipples.
— I just masturbated thinking about our last night.
— I just got out of the shower, wish you were here to see me naked and dripping wet...
13. Dirty Talk about the Next Time
Sexting can serve as a tantalising preview, a naughty trailer for your next sexual acts. Harnessing the power of dirty talk to fantasise about your future sexplorations can stoke the fires of anticipation.
Sexting examples focusing on future fun:
— I imagine the dim lighting, the smooth silk sheets, the uncorked bottle of wine sitting on the nightstand.
— Thinking about what I want to do to you has been driving me crazy. I get more and more turned on every time I imagine it.
— Next time I see you, I want to feel you hard inside me.
— Will you lie back and let me pleasure you tonight?
— I'm going to have you naked as soon as you walk into my apartment.
— Just thinking about how I’m going to greet you when you get home tonight is making me wet.
— Let’s take this as far as we can, slowly. Then let ourselves orgasm.
— When I pick you up for our next date, I want you to "forget" to wear panties.
14. Explore Steamy Fantasies
Sexting can be a great way for you or your partner to feel safe sharing some more "taboo" fantasies or kinks that you haven't mentioned before. A non-judgemental approach, open-mindedness and willingness to explore their fantasies are essential to make your partner feel safe and intimate with you.
Sext the following to share your fantasy world:
— I want you to use your vibrator on your clit, but you can’t come until I say so.
— I watched this movie last night where the woman got tied up, and it made me so horny.
— I just watched what might be my favourite porn video ever. Can I show it to you?
— Can you share your favourite porn video?
— I had a dream that we invited another guy into the bedroom with us, and I woke up so turned on.
— Whenever I think about trying anal with you, I get really excited.
If your partner brings up something in a sext that's dampening your spark, you can smoothly steer the chat in another direction. Using the “yes, and...” tactic can tactfully redirect the conversation.
14. Tell Them How Much They Turn You on
Sexting provides an intimate platform to articulate just how much your partner ignites your desires. Share specific sexy things they do that turn you on: the way they look at you, the sound of their laughter, the curve of their hips. Let your partner feel the heat and the pulse of your desire through the screen.
Sext the following to let your partner feel your desire and thrill:
— I am rock hard right now.
— You're making me so wet.
— I would do anything to have you here right now so I could have my way with you.
— I don't think anyone has ever gotten me this horny solely through texts before.
— I can't control myself around you.
15. Sexy Responses When You Want To Play
But what if it’s your partner initiating the dirty talk over text?
Here are some sexting ideas for how to respond to a sext when you feel frisky:
— Ooh, someone's feeling frisky today...tell me what you've been thinking about.
— I was just thinking about you too. Would love to see what you're wearing right now.
— Someone's being bad...do you think I should punish you?
— I would love nothing more than to watch you play with yourself over FaceTime.
— That sounds like exactly what I want to do. Tell me more.
16. Great Answers When You Don't Want to Play
As beautiful and exciting as sexting can be, sometimes our lives are full, or we are simply not in the mood.
Here are some sexting ideas for how to respond to a sext when you don’t feel up to playing:
— OMG, you look so hot right now, but I have a client call in five minutes. I would love to come back to this discussion in 2 hours.
— That sounds incredible and exactly what I wish I was doing, but instead I'm stuck on the subway and I don't really wanna pop a boner here—can I call you when I get home tonight?
— That sounds amazing...can send a steamier response later tonight when I have more privacy.
— You are insatiable and I love it. I can't talk right now but will respond to this when I can.
17. Your Replies When You Want to Play Differently
We can also tactfully shift the direction of our sexting conversations, directing the flow to match with our desires.
Here are some sexting ideas for how to divert the discussion and shape the future steps:
— That sounds so sexy...would you be down to FaceTime in a few minutes and show me what you're talking about?
— Instead of sexting, would you be into me describing a longer fantasy to you while you play with yourself tonight?
— Last time we did this was super hot, but I was wondering if tonight we can masturbate in front of each other?
— I love when you send me photos. Would you be down to send a video so I can really see how you like to play with yourself?
18. Use Sexting Emojis
Emojis can inject some fun, cheekiness and playfulness into your sexting behaviour, as well as add a lively touch to your praises in response to enticing photos or catchy one-liners from your partner.
Sexting ideas for you:
— Oh my, you look incredibly sexy 🔥
— Remember our night at the cabin? 🔥 The way you moaned when I kissed your neck... still drives me crazy 😈
— Craving the feel of your body against mine 🙈... I'm aching for you. Want to taste you, tease you until you beg for more 💋
19. Ask Questions
Asking sexy questions can be an easy way for you to know what your partner is thinking and create a real sexy conversion. The questions can also assist you in painting a vivid image of their fantasies within their imagination.
Sexting questions to get you started:
— What’s your fantasy?
— What part of me do you want to see?
— Are you turned on right now?
— How do you want to play with me?
— How would you like me to turn you on?
— What do you want me to do to you?
20. Engage in Sexting Aftercare
Sexting is unique because it’s a both partnered and solo sexual experience, and that can come with some intense emotions. Learn to wrap up your sessions gently, as well as take extra care and pay attention to how you feel afterwards.
Sexting examples to wrap up the session:
— Woo. That was a hot session. Now it’s time to take it easy and relish in how good it was.
— I loved our digital passion and sexy exploration.
A Word from For Play
Want to keep the fires of passion burning even when you're apart? Look no further than sexting, the art of crafting provocative messages that can build anticipation, express desire, and explore new ideas in your relationship. It’s an erotic tool to express how much your partner turns you on or recall your 'greatest hits' – those steamy encounters that set the standard. Now that you've got some new ideas, why not try shooting your lover a steamy sext? We dare you.
